New study shows: Despite the dozens spent on rehab, released prisoners are likely to return to their terrorist ways.

A recent study conducted by researchers in the West Bank and published today shows unmistakable evidence that most Palestinian prisoners released in the Gilad Schalit deal will go back to terrorism. The data is alarming, considering the fact that the State of Israel hiked its investment in prisoner rehabilitation programs from zero in 2010 to NIS 250 in 2011.

Prof. Yisrael Raklanu, who conducted the survey over a period of five years, says the findings should make most Israelis soil themselves. “Before, Israel had no rehab program. But now, after Israelis put their hands in their pocket and took 250 NIS out of the defense budget for rehabilitating Palestinian terrorists, we should think again about how we spend that money.That’s like three agorot a person. We could buy some more bullets with that kind of cash.”

Head of the Israeli prison service, Col. Omer Shtuyot, said “Sure, the occupation is still going on, but I bought 35 books with that money from the state – Amazon had a great deal. I spread it between all the 5,000 prisoners – except those with blood on their hands, Amazon has a strict return policy if the pages get dirty – and we all thought the whole terrorism thing would be a thing of the past. But this study is really worrying. It makes me wonder if we’ll ever be able to live with these animals.”

Prof. Raklanu added that study shows Palestinians are bent on destroying Israel. “We made an effort, we put money and time where are mouths are in order to facilitate the return home of these guys, to make their re-entrance into society and the local community a lot smoother, and this is what we get,” says Raklanu, “a slap in the face. They just can’t seem to put the anger behind.”

(This post was an attempt at satire, just in case you didn’t reach that conclusion yourself already)