Izzie in HolyLand

Izzie in HolyLand – Part 25: The shopping list
By Ami Kaufman February 8, 2013
Izzie in HolyLand – Part 24: Some things are better left unsaid
Izzie goes comic strip! Does it work? You be the judge.
By Ami Kaufman February 7, 2013
Izzie in HolyLand – Part 23: Europe can go shtup themselves
Izzie in HolyLand is back after the Europeans decide to go all the way with their response to building in E1 and… reprimand! Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! Izzie: Yes Ruthie? Ruthie: Ms. Holyland, Prime Minister David Cameron for you on line 1. Izzie: OK. Cameron: Ms. Holyland? Izzie: Yes, David, how are you? Cameron: I’m good, I’m good.…
By Ami Kaufman December 4, 2012
Latest
Izzie in HolyLand – part 22: Spring cleaning in autumn?
After a six-month hiatus, Izzie’s back in town. And she’s well prepared. For any event. Ring, ring!!!! (Actually, it happens to be the Pina Colada ringtone….) Izzie: Yes? Ruthie: Ms. Holyland, I’ve been trying to call you for weeks, where are you? The +972 readers are complaining, and the cellular company says your number is…
By Ami Kaufman October 31, 2011
Izzie in HolyLand – part 21: Hell freezes over in Israel
Izzie: Ruthie! Get me the minister of interior security in here! Ruthie: Yes Mam! Yitzhak Aharonovitz: Mam, you called for me? Izzie: Yeah. Sit down, Yitzhak. Aharonovitz: What can I do for you? Izzie: I just read about this brutal murder in Jaffa. Aharonovitz: Oh yeah, that. Five members of the XXX family. Terrible, terrible.…
By Ami Kaufman April 24, 2011
Izzie in HolyLand – Part 20: Lieberman “stools” to new low
  (To fully enjoy this post, YOU MUST first listen to this short 15 second audio clip. The link is for a Hebrew website, but the audio link is clearly visible on the top, with the standard “play” button next to a small picture of Avigdor Lieberman. In this link, you will hear from which…
By Ami Kaufman April 11, 2011
Izzie in HolyLand – Part 19: I love the smell of terror in the spring!
Ruthie, Izzie’s secretary, has the tough job of informing her boss about the explosion in Jerusalem Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz . Ruthie: Ms. Holyland, I’ve got some bad news. Izzie: What is it Ruthie? Did Bob Dylan cancel already? Ruthie: No, Mam. The police just called. There’s been a bombing in Jerusalem, and one person has been killed.…
By Ami Kaufman March 24, 2011
Izzie in HolyLand – Part 18: Egyptian revolution raises tough issues
As Izzie watches events unfold in Cairo, it begins to dawn on her just how precarious this new situation is Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! Ruth: Yes, Ms. HolyLand? Izzie: Ruth, get me all seven kitchen cabinet ministers in here. Pronto! Ruth: Yes, Ms. HolyLand, right away. In walk Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Defense Minister Ehud Barak, Foreign Minister…
By Ami Kaufman February 5, 2011
Izzie in HolyLand – Part 17: JAWS!
Izzie has a hunch the Mossad is up to no good again Izzie is quietly munching on a Turkish burekas as she suddenly sees a bizarre link on her Facebook page to a news item from the Egyptian media, claiming the Mossad is behind the latest spate of shark attacks in Sinai. “Speaking on the…
By Ami Kaufman December 13, 2010
Izzie in HolyLand – Part 16: A phone call to remember
Izzie and Foreign Minister Avigdor Lieberman are discussing strategies to continue obstructing the all but vanishing peace process, when suddenly the phone rings Izzie: So listen, Avigdor, I’ve been thinking… I’m kinda spooked about this whole unilateral thing the Palestinians are planning. I mean, whaddya think, do they have a chance with the UN? Will…
By Ami Kaufman November 16, 2010
Izzie in HolyLand – Part 15: The Chinese are coming!
The Israeli army will be collaborating with the Chinese, and Izzie wants in on it Bzzzzzz! Izzie: What is it Ruthie. Ruthie: Ms. Holyland, the IDF spokesperson is here to see you, Brigadier General Avi Benayahu. Izzie: Right, I almost forgot about that one. Thanks Ruthie, send him in. Benayahu walks in Benayahu: Good morning…
By Ami Kaufman October 28, 2010
Izzie in HolyLand – Part 14: Let’s get to know social media!
The IDF has decided to begin giving courses in social media after the Youtube-belly-dancing with blindfolded female prisoner episode. The courses are to be given by, of course, Ms. Izzie Holyland. Izzie: Alright, listen up! Listen up! Everybody sit down! I want to get started. We’ve got a lot of material to go through today,…
By Ami Kaufman October 8, 2010
Izzie in HolyLand – Part 12: The Press Conference
Regev: Ms. Holyland, it’s time to go. Izzie: Shut up Mark, I know it’s time to go. Don’t push me around, it’s my ass they’re gonna grill out there – not yours. Regev: Sorry, Ms. Holyland. But look at it this way: we’re prepared. We have answers for everything. Just look at the papers if you forget something,…
By Ami Kaufman June 21, 2010
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